Episode 6: Lebensfreude
In 2 weeks from today I will be heading home. This comes
with the obvious mix of emotions. I am not ready to leave Germany. That’s just
how it is. America will feel foreign to me for a little while, which is
probably good that I am pretty much going straight to the one place on this
earth that has always felt like home. No matter how far away I get, no matter
what things go on in my life, GVR is that constant. It is that place where I
can always go to, where I can find myself both spiritually and literally closer
to heaven.
When I board that plane in Hamburg to head home, I am sure I
will feel more than I did when I left
America for a year. I will be going home. But I will also be leaving a place
that has taught me unbelievably much. I will have to, for a few months, not
travel to a magical castle on a hillside, I will not be in a place where I have
to work to understand what people are saying, and I will have a place that I
have comfort in. I have gotten so used to the outside edges of my comfort zone,
that it now feels like that is where my comfort zone is.
I know that these two weeks are going to fly by way too
fast. The closer the day comes, the more I have to do to prepare. Time will fly
by. It will be an ironic contrast to the
times in which I felt time sit still. I have talked about being in the
wilderness and losing the care of anything else in the world. Now, as it seems,
I will have all those cares bound down on me like a charging lineman after the
quarterback, bound to tackle me and take away hopes of forward progress. But
woe is not me, I will return to Germany in the fall to continue my quixotic
adventures in this now not foreign land.
Living life to its fullest often takes risks. As mentioned
in Adventure,
life doesn’t always come easy, and it’s often the challenges that make it
the most interesting. For those of you who know me, I like sports that aren’t
your traditional team sports. Things like American Football, or Hockey are fun
sports to play, but my favorites are things like rock climbing and cliff
jumping (side note, deep water soloing equals the best of both worlds and
therefore the coolest sport ever). But the funny thing to it is that I am actually
quite scared of heights. When I am out leading a climb, especially a trad
climb, I am freaking out a lot simply because I am scared of heights. My few
falls that I have had have come from no higher than ten meters, so it’s not a
terribly justified fear, but everyone has at least one I guess. Whenever I tell
anyone I am scared of heights and they know that I like sports with heights,
and that I worked in a ropes course for two summers, they have a hard time
believing me. But it is the fear of heights that drives me to like these sports
so much.
Not only is rock climbing really good for one’s physical
health, the mental and spiritual side grows too. Trust me, at thirty meters,
doing a lead climb when scared of heights, one’s prayer life increases a lot.
But more to the point, I like the sports that really challenge me as a person. Like
rock climbing or cliff jumping and my Höhenangst,
Germany is that one thing that I can turn to that keeps me on the edge or
outside my comfort zone as often as possible. I am always challenged here.
I have often been described as an adrenaline junky, but I
prefer the term adventure addict. I have to have adventure or I become just a
guy sitting around all day watching TV and daydreaming about the future. I have
a fundamental problem with being that kind of person, and while it is okay to
do both of those things in small quantities; I try to run my life in a balance
system. Even in the way I eat it should be balanced. I can eat that delicious
ball of sugary goodness or watch TV, but not in excess, if it becomes more than
the healthy things, then it is no longer a balanced system.
Not only do I have an unquenchable thirst for captivating
enterprises, but its because of this thirst that I have the joie de vivre that
I do. I find life awesome. I guess that is
no surprise coming from someone who just spent nine months living in Europe,
but in fact, there is no way to replace this. And that in a very short summary
is why I am coming back next year. I love it here; I love the constant
learning, the edification, the adventure, and the introspection of constantly
writing a blog. I wouldn’t write much in America, not as many exciting things
happen to me there.
My constant pursuit of learning and of adventure has lead my
to my Lebensfreude. In Germany, I
have learned a lot about myself. Now I just come back and learn a little more.
Learning of oneself is a gathering of wisdom that covers many subjects, topics
and themes. I cannot wait to continue my journey to myself via Germany. The
tickets are bought. The plans are made. I just have to hold on for the ride. It
will be exciting.
